


Familliar

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Mirrors (2008)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemon, Angst, Daemons, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-01-19
Packaged: 2017-11-26 03:02:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It becomes increasingly difficult to rationalize away your feelings for someone when your daemons keep manipulating you into sharing a bed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Larry Byrne**

"What kind of a daemon do you think he'll have?"

I glanced over at Fionn where she sat in the passenger's seat of the moving truck, red fur ruffled from hanging her head out the window. "He'll probably have a dog. Cops have dogs."

"Not all cops have dogs," she retorted. "We just fit the stereotype. Besides, even if he does have a dog there's no way to tell what kind of a dog she'll be. If she's a yappy little terrier like the officer that interviewed you I might just have to eat her."

I laughed, turning into the building and parking in the loading zone. "You will do no such thing."

"I won't," she agreed, "But I might threaten to on a regular basis."

I hopped out of the truck, holding the door as she jumped across the seat and out after me. "Why are you so keen on our new roommate, anyway? We're going to meet a lot of new people out here. Not just him."

"But we've never had a roommate before," she replied, bounding along in front of me and jumping up to hit the button for the elevator with her nose.

It was true, and her excitement covered a mix of nerves and trepidation. But then we were used to putting up a face, Fionn and I. Especially choosing this for a vocation... we'd have a lot to hide. At least she was female, I rationalized. I'd known a couple of adorable, talented Queens in my time whose daemons had been as masculine as they weren't. Completely appropriate for them, but rather difficult to stay in the closet.

"Stop fretting," Fionn said, tongue licking a warm stripe over the back of my hand. "We'll be fine. He'll love you. I love you."

I smiled, running my hand over her head to rub behind her ears, taking comfort in the silken fur.

Stepping out of the elevator, I walked to the door for apartment 627, taking a deep breath and knocking. I heard a crash inside, and a curse, and a moment later footsteps crossed the room and the door opened. Blue eyes and tousled blond hair with an amazing body, and a gorgeous, questioning smile....

I forced myself not to think about sex and smiled instead. "Hey. Um, I'm Larry Byrne. I'm looking for - "

Fionn cut me off with an excited bark before I could continue, body-checking the door as she bounded into the apartment joyfully. I watched her greet the golden lab inside with an enthusiastic pounce, and the two daemons tumbled together in an excited, wiggling pile of red and gold fur, barking and sniffing and licking each other delightedly. The man at my side gave a soft chuckle as he watched them, and I turned to him with an apologetic smile. "... Ben Carson?"

"In the flesh." He caught my hand in a firm shake, still smiling, his grip warm and secure, and Fionn was so happy that for a moment I didn't want to let go. "Nice to meet you. And your daemon - an Irish Setter...?"

I gave a soft laugh, glancing back to the girls just in time to see Fionn follow the golden lab into the next room, tail wagging. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Fionn - Fionntana - is just a bit excited."

"Don't worry about it. Sasha's the same way." We watched them bound out of the first bedroom and through to the second, and Ben gave another soft chuckle. "Something tells me we're going to get on just fine, Larry."

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

**Ben Carson**

 

"I like them."

I glanced over to where Sasha had settled on the end of my bed, golden fur pale against my dark blue bedspread. "I never could have guessed."

"Don't say that like it's a bad thing."

"I'm not," I argued back. "It's just...." Just what? It wasn't like I wasn't used to seeing - to _feeling_ \- Sasha be close to other daemons. She'd adored my father's golden lab, which probably played a big part in why she'd settled as she did, and she let my sister Angie's squirrel daemon run all over her, often literally. She'd also been affectionate with the daemons of the handful of girls that I'd dated. But there'd never been anything like this before, never this instant familiarity and outpouring of affection, and definitely not with someone I'd just met. Certainly not with another man's daemon... but here we were. I liked them too, very much so, enough that it still surprised me a little. Larry and I had spent the evening unpacking and chatting over pizza, and my original prediction upon meeting him hadn't proved anything but true. He was nice to be around, fun and easygoing with a good head on his shoulders. He seemed the kind of friend I'd always wanted, and more than anything I hoped he would prove to be.

"Just please don't be all cuddly in public," I said weakly, not sure how else to answer.

"Of course not," she retorted with a snort. "We're going into orientation, they'll already pick on you twice as hard because of your father. I know what's expected of me. You have a smudge on your shoe."

"Thanks," I replied, picking it up to polish it off. She was right, so I tried to put the situation completely out of my mind and focus on the day ahead.

 

The first day of class was even more brutal than I'd anticipated, though we survived it. I threw together a spaghetti for us both from frozen ingredients after Larry mentioned some disgusting combination of tomato soup and instant rice, and we'd managed to do a bit of review before I caught myself falling asleep on the couch and begged off to bed.

When I awoke again it was dark, and I turned over with a groan to see the face of my clock illuminate the time as just past two. Something had woken me, a strange, disconcerting ache, and I reached off the bed for Sasha, unable to feel her bulk at her usual spot on the other half of the bed. When my fingers encountered nothing but air instead of the warm fur I expected I sat up with a start, clicking on the bedside lamp and blinking in the sudden light. My daemon was no-where to be seen, but the door was ajar, and when I crossed to look out I found her curled up in the middle of the living room floor with Fionn like a furry yin and yang, their heads resting on each other's hips.

"Come back to bed," I hissed, and she lifted her head to look up at me, blinking sleepy blue eyes.

"No."

I stared at her. "What do you mean, no?"

"I'm comfortable here. Go sleep."

"It itches when you're so far away," I replied with a frown, though in truthfulness there was something very comfortable - and comforting - in seeing them curled together like that. "Come on, Sasha...."

"Sleep on the couch," she said, and laid her head back down as an apparent end of conversation.

"You're such a bitch," I replied with a grumble, feeling nothing more than a wave of amused agreement from her in reply.

"Don't think there's room on the couch for two." The sleep-thick mumble of my roommate made me glance up to see him standing in the doorway to the second bedroom, dressed only in boxers and a tshirt. "Come back to bed, Fionn."

"I like it here," she murmured, and I ran a hand through my hair, wondering if this was some kind of bizarre conspiracy to keep us up all night.

"Fionn...." Larry sounded surprisingly desperate, though I didn't blame him. We'd all tested our connections to our daemons at one time or another, seen how far they could go before it all became too much. The pain of feeling them stretch too far away wasn't nearly as bad as the feeling of separation that grew stronger as they moved away, and I'd seen stronger men than me left vulnerable from it. "Fionn, please don't do this."

"Just sleep in the same room," she mumbled sleepily, curling closer to Sasha.

I gave a long sigh and looked up at him. "Want to grab an extra quilt and take the other half of my bed? We can sort these two out in the morning?" Larry looked surprisingly conflicted at my invitation, so I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "I don't mind, honestly. I promise I don't bite."

"Sure," he said finally, turning back into his bedroom to grab his things. "Thanks."

I went back to bed and pulled my quilt onto one half of my double bed, Sasha trotting in after me a moment before Larry and Fionn. Both daemons promptly curled back up together on the floor. I glanced to Larry with a little helpless shrug, then crawled in under my quilt, curling up on half of the bed with my back to the center. "Make yourself comfortable."

He nodded, climbing in on the other side, and I waited until he stilled to turn off the light. "Night, Larry."

"Night," came the soft reply.

I closed my eyes, trying to relax and find sleep again. I'd shared a bed only a handful of times in my life, but for some reason this was relaxing. Reassuring. I could feel the warmth of his form radiate out behind me, and with Sasha back near me the ache I'd felt before was gone. I found rest soon enough, sleeping deeply until I woke the next morning as he left with Fionn to go for a run.

I threw on work out gear, packed my cadet uniform and headed into the academy early to use the gym before work. Hopping onto a treadmill with Sasha padding beside me, I came to the sudden realization that I felt the same strange, aching feeling of loneliness as before, and that it couldn't have come from being apart from Sasha at all.

~~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Larry Byrne**

 

Being a cadet wasn't nearly as bad as I'd expected, but it probably had much to do with the horror stories I'd heard. It was very militarized, but when the instructor's back was turned Ben would catch my eye and smile, and I'd somehow feel stronger for it.

Our training to start was an even mix of academics and physical that was grueling even for me, and I couldn't help but wonder how many cops actually kept it up after graduation. I'd even cut my morning runs down to half an hour just to survive during the day. It was fun in its own way. Challenging.

It was much more of a challenge not to admire Ben in the change room, but I convinced myself that it would grow easier in time. And that it would become easier to share an apartment in a completely platonic fashion. I tried not to think about the fact that we were sharing a bed more often than not, because thinking about that generally lead to far more dangerous thoughts, like Ben on his knees in front of me, looking up at me through thigh blond eyelashes as that beautiful mouth parted over the head of my cock.

Goddamn beautiful straight men.

I didn't think about it, because when I didn't I could just concentrate on enjoying Ben's company, or studying, or talking or just lounging on the couch to catch a hockey game. It felt good, being with Ben.

"Larry?"

I awoke with a start, realizing that I'd fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of the game, slouched over with my head on Ben's shoulder. "Shit - I'm sorry...."

"It's okay. Just didn't want you to get a crick in your neck. I'm near passing out as well."

I nodded, yawning as I sat up and stretched. "Jesus Christ, I feel like an old man. Think we'll get used to this routine?"

"Just in time to graduate," Ben remarked with a smirk, standing and stepping around our daemons to turn off the TV before heading into his bedroom.

Fionn lifted her head, looking about as awake as I felt. Then she stood, falling into step with Sasha, and disappeared off after Ben.

I groaned. "Fionn, get back here. At least let me get a couple hours of rest...."

"Come to bed and you'll get plenty of rest," she called back from inside Ben's room, and I ran a hand over my face with a soft, frustrated sigh.

"Get the feeling there really isn't any point sleeping apart," Ben remarked, stepping back out of his room. "Just change and come back."

It was true, and I'd even left my pillow and quilt there from the night before. "Thanks," I said, feeling a little self conscious, then slipped back into my bedroom, stripping down to my boxers and pulling a t-shirt on to sleep in before brushing my teeth.

Ben was already in bed and half asleep when I got in there, relaxed and peaceful and so damn beautiful that for a moment all I could think about was wanting to be close to him, to snuggle up against his back and nuzzle his hair, to worship his skin with soft kisses. I pushed it away, turning off his lamp and and stepping over Fionn to climb into bed. Still, it seemed like ages before I found sleep again.

**

 

I raked my fingers through my hair as I paced back and forth at the foot of the bed I hadn't really slept in for over two weeks. I didn't know how to cope with the strange affinity my daemon had for my room mate, and it felt like every day the hole we were in just got deeper and deeper.

"Look," I said finally, dropping down to perch on the end of the bed and look down at her. "I know you like them. I like them too. Too much. But we can't keep doing this, Fionn. Even if we don't end up outing ourselves this is only going to end in heartbreak, you know that. He's straight."

Fionn sighed, leaning up to nuzzle my cheek. "Oh dearest. If love was a choice, who would choose such exquisite pain?"

I closed my eyes, stroking my fingers into the silk curls of her fur. "Don't joke about that. This isn't love."

"Isn't it? You know what you feel. He's everything you've ever wanted."

"Except gay?" I gave a soft laugh, pressing my face to one ear as I stroked one hand over her coat.

"You don't know that."

I snorted. "We've been sharing a bed for almost two weeks thanks to you two. So yeah, I'm pretty sure he's not."

"Have you asked?"

"Asked him? That would go over real well." I let out a long breath, mind going around in circles. I had to put a stop to this, but at the same time the thought of it made my heart ache. "Maybe I should just see if I can find someplace else to live."

Fionn gave a soft whimper, and I could feel her sorrow. "Don't do that. Just talk to him. You think I'd tell you to if I thought we'd be in danger? Do you think I'd love Sasha so much if he was the kind of person who would hurt you?"

"It's not that easy," I replied with a sigh. "I don't want to screw this up."

"Just don't give up without trying," she replied, nuzzling my hair.

"Love with great risk is all the more sweet." I chuckled softly. "I know, you don't have to tell me, my little poet."

She chuckled softly, tail wagging as she pulled back. "Get dressed, mister. Time to go get yelled at for another eight hours."

***


	4. Chapter 4

**Larry Byrne**

Ben and I had spent the afternoon at the academy doing physical drills, and when we got back to the apartment we were both near exhausted. I glanced over to Ben as we came in. "Want to order Chinese food? I'll treat, since you've been feeding me almost all this week."

Ben smiled and shook his head. "I can throw something together. Take out is pricey, save your money and come grocery shopping with me next time?"

Next time. It all seemed so domestic. Fionn had curled up with Sasha under the table, just as worn out as I was, and like it always did it brought a feeling of familiarity that I hadn't quite gotten used to. It frightened me; I liked it too much.

"Larry?"

Ben's voice startled me from my thoughts, and I realized I hadn't responded to him. I forced a smile. "Yeah. Sorry, that would be great. Your food's better than takeout anyway. You sure it's no trouble?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "It's honestly not. It's easier to cook for two than just for one, and I enjoy it. Healthier too."

I nodded, giving an embarrassed smile. "Might save me from dying of a heart attack in five years."

"With the way you run? I doubt it." He'd turned to the cupboards and was sorting through, finally taking out a box of something called curry couscous and a pack of bacon from the fridge. He stopped, then, glancing towards our daemons where they still sat curled together under the table, and he suddenly looked conflicted, well-shaped lips pressing together. I hadn't seen him look like that since I'd stupidly asked about his family and found out about his father's death in the line of duty a year ago.

I wet my lips, forcing myself to bring up the issue we'd been skirting around since we met. "Does it bother you that they're so close?"

"No." Ben's reply was soft and husky as he continued to watch them, unintentionally sexy, and I swallowed hard to push away desire. He glanced back at me, expression carefully guarded. "Does it bother you?"

I hesitated, then shook my head slowly. "No, I just... I'm not really used to it. Fionn hasn't had much affinity for my lovers in the past, it's all been pretty casual, so - " suddenly realizing what I was saying I stopped short, feeling my face heat up. "I don't mean us, of course, since we're just friends, I mean - people I've been close to - she's not...."

Ben's hand darted out suddenly to catch my wrist, trembling, holding tight as if he thought I'd leave if he let go of me. Or perhaps he needed the touch to keep him here. We'd tried to avoid intentional touch as much as we could, just as we'd avoided talking about the daemons' affection, and the touch of his hand on my arm was almost dizzying. Ben looked as nervous as I felt, looking up at me through thick gold eyelashes. "That's what you think of when you think about us?"

His hand was warm and strong around my wrist, and I couldn't bring myself to pull away. Instead I focused on the linoleum at my feet, and Fionn padded over to sit beside me, looking up at me, brown eyes warm and reassuring. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "This is my fault. I should control her. I just...."

"Doesn't feel right when they're apart," he murmured, and I gave a small nod.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," I forced out, not wanting to reveal too much and frightened that there was no way around it.

"Do you want it to mean something?"

Oh god, did I ever. I closed my eyes for a moment, torn. "Ben - "

Ben gave a surprised oomph, and I opened my eyes just in time to catch him as he was pushed up against me, Sasha's paws planted firmly on his low back. I froze, hands on his hips and his on my shoulders, then gave a soft sigh and let myself relax just a tiny bit into the unexpected closeness, my nerves a jumbled uncertainty in the pit of my stomach. "Ben...."

"I haven't done anything like this before," he half whispered, face pressed to my hair, and I could feel his hands tremble on my shoulders as Sasha moved away. "I've never even thought about doing this before, I...."

"I have," I admitted, letting my hands relax against him, smoothing to rest lightly on the small of his back where his daemon's paws had been, feeling the heat of his body radiate through his shirt. "I'm so sorry, Ben...."

"Why are you apologizing?" He gave a soft, helpless laugh. "You didn't tell Sasha to fall for you." Ben shifted a little closer, his breath warm and soft against my neck. "I should control her too. I just can't help but think... if this is how she feels, if this is so strong, then... I just can't ignore it. I just don't know what to do."

"Do whatever you want," I murmured, closing my eyes and letting my lips rest lightly against his hair. "As little or as much as you want, Ben."

"Thought it was just me feeling this," Ben admitted quietly, and he gave a soft sigh as his lips brushed against my cheek, shivering and feather light. "Is this normal? Are we supposed to feel like this?"

"I don't know," I replied, realizing suddenly that the tremor I could feel was not him, but me. I swallowed hard. "Just feels right to be close to you."

Ben gave a soundless laugh, body still trembling as he pressed up against me, hands slipping up over my shoulders to wind their way around my neck. "God, Larry...."

I let myself draw him closer, smoothing a palm up and down his spine, shivering at the little helpless moan it drew from his lips. "Shh," I murmured softly, though I wasn't quite sure who I was trying to comfort. "Just don't want to screw this up. I like you. I'm so happy with you. Fionn's so happy."

"Me too," he breathed, pulling back until his lips nuzzled the corner of my mouth, one hand slipping up to tangle in my hair. "Larry...."

At some point my mind had begun to catch up with what was happening, and my stomach twisted in a mix of nerves and anticipation. "Please," I managed to whisper, wanting it so badly and so afraid to make the first move, to overstep my bounds. "Ben...."

"Yeah," he replied simply, and pressed his lips to my own in a tentative kiss.

I moaned softly at the contact, arms tightening around him, returning the kiss with all the desire I'd felt since I'd first seen him standing in the sunlight of this apartment, with everything I'd felt and held back. With everything Fionn had acted on because I couldn't.

"Want you," Ben murmured against my mouth, fingers clenching in my hair. He pressed me back against the counter behind me, body warm and strong against mine, nipping at my bottom lip. "God, Lar, your mouth...."

"All yours," I breathed in reply, hands slipping down to clench at his ass, something that made him whimper and buck up against me, sending a surge of pleasure up my spine. It was too good, too much all at once after so long wanting, and I broke from his mouth breathlessly to bury my face in his hair and hold him tight, trying to remind myself to think with my head instead of my cock.

Ben held to me just as tightly, breath warm against my hair. He was silent for a long moment, just breathing, fingers stroking over my hair again and again.

"Want a drink?" I asked quietly, despite not wanting to let him go. "I think we both need one, don't we?"

"Yeah," he breathed, and gave a soft chuckle. Still, it was a moment before he pulled back, hands smoothing over my shoulders as he did, blue eyes searching mine. "You're really okay with this?"

I gave a little nod. "Sure. But what is this?"

Ben's mouth tightened, eyebrows knitting together just a little. "I... this is a lot, Lar. I'm sorry. I don't know, I just...."

"Shh..." I leaned in to kiss him gently, feeling him relax a little at the touch, and tried to ignore the fact that Fionn's happily wagging tail was hitting me in the shin. "Don't think about it for now then, all right? We'll just see how things go, and if there's anything you don't like or don't want just say so. All right?"

"Thank you," he murmured softly, lips brushing against mine before pulling away. We'd stashed a few bottles of alcohol in the cupboard above the sink, and he pondered them for a moment before taking down a still mostly full 2-6 of Jack Daniels. "Yes?"

I grabbed two tumblers from the cupboard. "Sure. Ice?"

"Sounds good." He half filled both glasses, waiting for me to put the ice cube tray back before picking them up and handing one to me. "Toast?"

I gave a questioning smile. "To?"

Ben chuckled softly and shrugged. "Maybe figuring this out sometime?"

I smiled, clinking my glass to his and taking a long swallow, closing my eyes for a moment and letting the alcohol burn down my throat. I opened them again to look down at Fionn, who'd caught my pant leg between her teeth and was tugging on it. "What?"

"The couch is a more comfortable place to talk."

I looked up at Ben with a little helpless smile. "I thought we were supposed to be the ones in charge?"

"You think?" He chuckled as Sasha headbutted the back of his thigh, moving away to sit on the couch. "Apparently I'm her bitch."

"Of course you are, my love," she replied affectionately, leaning up to nuzzle his cheek. She pulled away as I settled down on the couch beside him, curling up again on the floor with Fionn, looking just as exhausted as my daemon was.

I took another swallow of my jack before setting it aside on the still unpacked box of movies that currently served as an end table. Then I let myself lean into Ben, resting one hand against the side of his thigh, lifting the other to stroke his arm lightly. "Maybe we should order something just so we can rest and not worry about cooking or dishes. This afternoon was pretty grueling."

"Yeah." Ben drained his glass and set it aside, then leaned in to kiss me again with a soft, needy moan. I pulled him closer without thinking, just reacting to how good it felt to have him close to me, to yield to the press of his lips and the tentative flick of his tongue, lips parting so he could taste me. Ben's fingers slipped up into my hair again to hold me close, his mouth warm and yearning and tasting of whiskey, free hand slowly smoothing over my chest through my t-shirt. I let my fingers trail up and down the top of his thigh slowly, encouraging, trying to keep myself from trembling. As we kissed I let myself cup his face, stroking my thumb along his cheekbone, letting my fingers run through the softness of blond hair that had dried fluffy and tousled after his shower at the gym. God, I wanted to shower with him, to pull him close and stroke my hands over every inch of wet, soap slick skin....

"God..." Ben's hips arched up a little as my fingers reached the top of his thigh again, and I acted on the silent plea, cupping his cock through his jeans and squeezing lightly, feeling my own cock twitch with arousal at the feel of him, warm and hard through his jeans. Ben gave a low, choked groan, rocking up against my palm, sucking at my bottom lip as his hand slipped down my chest to return the touch with more certainty than I'd expected, palming me slowly. "You're so hard...."

I chuckled breathlessly, arching up into his touch despite myself. "After kissing you how could I be anything but? You're gorgeous, Ben. Drive me crazy...."

"I drive _you_ crazy?" Ben pressed closer, urging me back, and within moments we were stretched out along the couch, Ben's hips pressed to mine, grinding against me as he devoured my mouth with kisses, hands stroking up under my t-shirt and over my chest. I tugged his over his head, stroking my palms over his back and sides and reveling in the warmth of bare skin and the strength of his muscles. I wiggled to let him pull mine off, tilting my head back to kisses that he trailed hungrily down my throat, nipping lightly at my collarbone, sucking at the skin. "God, Larry... the way you look at me, the way you smile... fuck, can't stop thinking about you...."

I gave an almost embarrassing whimper as his fingers found one nipple, pinching the hardened flesh lightly before rolling it between his fingers, my hips bucking up against his. I tangled my fingers in his hair as he kissed down my chest to suck at my other nipple, teasing it, lathing it with his tongue. Despite how good it all felt I couldn't quite push away the worry that clenched at the pit of my stomach. I could remember far too well how hard it had been to come to the realization of my own sexual preference years ago, how frightened I'd been to act on it. If he did something in the heat of the moment that he regretted....

I forced myself to swallow, to speak, ignoring Fionn's little warning growl. "Maybe we should slow down."

Ben lifted his mouth from my chest and looked up at me, immediately anxious. "I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong?"

"No. Oh no. No..." I tugged him closer, arching up to kiss him. "Just don't know if we should be rushing into anything...."

Ben shivered against me, stroking his fingers through my hair. "Your daemon doesn't seem to agree."

I gave a soft sigh. "I just don't want to screw this up...."

Ben nuzzled along my jaw, breath a soft sigh against my skin. "Worried I'm going to freak out?"

"I don't know," I replied helplessly, wrapping my arms up around him and holding him to me. "A little afraid of what might happen, I guess. It's not like being with a girl, Ben. Sure as hell can't let anyone in the force know what's going on."

He pressed a soft kiss to my temple, stroking one hand up and down my side soothingly. "Don't wanna promise anything I can't keep. But I need you. I won't hurt you. Is that enough for now?"

It didn't stop me from worrying, but I couldn't bring myself to let him go. I managed a nod, and Ben continued to nuzzle my cheek, pressing soft kisses to my eyelids, claiming my mouth again with his own. It was hard not to get lost in the warmth and passion of his kisses, his weight pressing me down into the couch, rocking against me slowly until worry was replaced by desire, by the need to touch him and please him and make him cry out with pleasure. I slipped my hands down the back of his jeans and boxers, kneading at the firm curves of his ass, pulling him closer. "Let me touch you. Please, Ben...."

Ben's answering groan was undoubtedly approving, and he shifted to lay against my side, fingers tugging at the closure of my jeans. It was cramped and awkward and I had to rest one foot on the floor to keep from falling off the couch completely, but what mattered most was Ben. I tightened my arm around his back, fumbling with my other hand to yank his pants undone and tugging them down enough for me to wrap my fingers around the shaft of his straining cock. I arched enough for him to pull my jeans down as well, and there was nothing tentative in his touch as he took hold of my erection, slicking his thumb through the arousal that leaked from my head. Rocking up into my touch a little, Ben began to stroke me slowly, pressing his face to my hair. He gave a low groan as I began to stroke him a little more quickly, matching my pace. "Oh god. Oh fuck, Lar, so good...."

I managed a whimper of agreement, trying to memorize the feel of his body against mine, the sound of his voice, the scent of his skin. It was too good, too intense, and I tried to hold off, biting down hard on my bottom lip as he jerked me. "God, Ben!"

"Come on, lover," he gasped, stroking just a little more firmly, and in moments he'd pulled me over the edge, the build of pleasure rushing through my body as I came in his fingers. My touch faltered despite myself, but Ben bucked up into my grasp, giving a choked cry as he followed me to climax, shuddering against me. I stroked him through the shocks of orgasm, reveling in the feel of his cock in my fingers, his breath warm against my skin as he gasped wordlessly, pressed tight against me.

Finally he moved to pull back, and though I half expected him to pull away he just shifted enough to kiss me, warm and tender and trembling, again and again. I gave a soft, appreciative hum against his mouth, relaxing my hold on him to stroke my hand up and down his back, the other still cupping his half hard cock. I didn't want the moment to end, and he seemed just as intent on prolonging it, kissing me again and again, then nuzzling my cheek. "You're beautiful," he whispered, and I closed my eyes at the shudder of emotion the words wrought in me, squeezing his shoulders instead.

"Thanks for this," I managed to say finally, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. As much as I never wanted to move I knew things would become rather sticky and uncomfortable fairly quickly if I didn't. "Let me get us cleaned up and we can order in food, okay?"

Ben smiled and gave a little silent nod, shifting enough for me to slip off the couch, and I slipped off to the bathroom with Fionn padding beside me, silently happy. It only took a few moments to clean myself off and refasten my pants, and when I returned with a warm washcloth Ben was still stretched out on the couch, head pillowed on one arm. Sasha was nuzzling his hand affectionately, tail wagging.

"I did tell you so," she was saying, and Ben chuckled softly.

"You did. I should never doubt you."

"Of course not," she replied proudly, licking the inside of his wrist affectionately.

Ben's smile widened when he saw me, and he sat up, letting me wipe down his stomach before taking the cloth from me to clean off his fingers. "Thanks."

"Anytime," I replied, and meant it.

After dinner we ended up back in his bed, exploring our bodies with kisses and gentle touch, coaxing each other to the heights of passion and finally curling together to sleep, exhausted. Ben's body was warm against my back, his breath a soft tease on the back of my neck, and Fionn was a comfortable weight stretched out on my feet, finally sleeping against me again. It occurred to me that I hadn't ever felt so warm and safe, and hoped to god that this would continue for a long, long time.

~~~


	5. Chapter 5

**Ben Carson**

 

"Something's bothering you."

Larry had left that morning, long overdue for a trip home, or so he said. I'd showered with him before he'd gone, after he returned from his run, trading slow, lazy kisses as we soaped each other until I'd pushed him up against the tiles and curled my fingers around his cock. It was always easier when we were together, when I could forget about everything but how good it felt to kiss him, how complete I felt when I was with him. It was when I was alone that my insecurities came back.

I'd sprawled out on my bed after he left, closing my eyes and trying to keep the world from spinning, only opening them again when Sasha nuzzled my palm, voicing her concern.

"I'm fine," I replied, lifting my head to look up at her and reaching out to stroke a hand over her head, fingertips lingering on the velvet softness of her ears.

Sasha gave a little unconvinced hum, laying down against me with her head resting on my chest. "You know you can't lie to me, Ben."

I gave a soft, soundless laugh, stroking my fingers over her head and down her back again and again. "Maybe I'm just trying to lie to myself."

"Ben...."

I sighed, letting my head flop back against the pillow and staring up at the ceiling. "I just... feel like I'm caught in a riptide, like I'm just being pulled along helplessly and nothing that I do will change anything. I'm so out of control."

"Isn't that what love is?"

I closed my eyes. "You think this is love?"

"Would you do this for anything less?" Sasha got up, nuzzling my cheek. "Come on, Ben. I'll be here whatever happens. You'll be okay."

I kept stroking her, still staring at the ceiling. Her words frightened me because I knew they were true. What I'd felt for Larry upon meeting had only gotten stronger, much, much stronger since I'd first kissed him almost a month ago. But there were so many what ifs, so many things that could happen. "Just not really what I expected out of life."

"Life never goes as planned, love," she murmured, nuzzling my jaw. "It's not a bad thing. We'll get through whatever comes our way. Finish getting dressed now and do some studying, all right?"

I dressed, but felt restless; it was too distracting to be in the apartment alone with so many reminders of Larry. Instead I grabbed a rucksack and tucked my notebook and a couple of manuals inside of it, heading out of the apartment and down the street to a little hole in the wall diner I'd passed by a couple of times on my way to the grocery. They turned out to have surprisingly decent coffee, and even better apple pie, and for the rest of the afternoon I lost myself in studying and free refills of coffee, savoring a piece of pie in slow bites.

Sasha perched on the booth beside me, as engrossed in study as I was, occasionally offering a piece of advice. As the sun began to go down, however, she grew restless. "Isn't it time to go home?"

I shook my head. "Let me finish this chapter, I need to get these protocols down straight. Maybe I should make flash cards...."

Her tail thumped against the bench restlessly. "But he'll be home soon...."

"I'll go soon enough. We don't have any plans for tonight anyway."

"Ben...."

"Ben?" Another voice caught my attention, and I looked up to see a cute little brunette woman who looked vaguely familiar.

I tried to put a name to the face and the little blue-grey pigeon that sat on her shoulder. "... Dana?"

"Deborah," she corrected, grinning widely and slipping into the other side of the booth across from me. "So you do remember me! I haven't seen you back at Quincey's lately."

Quincey's. Of course. A waitress there. A bunch of our classmates had gone there for a beer after the last test. I gave an apologetic smile. "The academy's kept me pretty busy, I'm afraid. How have you been?" She was sweet, and it was easy to fall into old patterns of flirting and flattery. It was a little relieving, truthfully, to know that I could still do this, impress women regardless of the fact that I was currently having very frequent sex with my very handsome, very male friend and roommate. Maybe this is what I needed, to know that I could still go back to a normal life if I wanted to.

Maybe I'd feel better if I could prove to myself that I hadn't changed.

I gave Deborah a warm smile. "Hey... do you maybe want to catch up over dinner? My treat?"

Next to me, Sasha gave a low, warning grow, and Deborah's eyes flicked to her for a moment before focusing on me, smiling widely. "I don't know, I'm a bit of a progressive woman. But maybe I'll let you buy me dinner if I can buy you a drink afterwards? I know this great little place a couple blocks from here that's really good for dancing...."

Sasha's growl grew a little louder, and I ignored it pointedly. "I'd like that a lot, actually. Dancing sounds - OW! What the fuck!" I glared down at Sasha, who had her teeth barred. "You bit me!"

"Outside," she growled, darting around to snap at Deborah's pigeon as it bobbed closer to her across the table. "Now, Ben!"

"I'll be right back - " I managed to apologize as Sasha caught hold of the edge of my jacket and yanked, pulling insistently until I got out of the booth and followed her outside.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sasha jumped and lunged at me, paws planted on my chest to shove me back against the wall. I realized that she wasn't just angry but furious, trembling.

"Nothing. Just taking a girl for dinner, just a casual date, it doesn't mean anything - " I started, and was cut off by a snarl.

"You know very well that isn't nothing. You promised you wouldn't hurt him, Ben. You promised!"

"I didn't promise anything," I shot back, despite the shame I felt at the words. "I didn't promise anything I didn't know if I could keep. Sasha, I need to do this. I need - "

"You need to stop being such a selfish coward," she shot back through barred teeth. "How would he feel if he knew about this?"

"But he doesn't. Look, I just need to feel normal for a night. I just need - "

"To break his heart?" The hurt in Sasha's eyes was almost more than I could handle. "He loves you, Ben. He. Loves you. Don't do this."

I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the brick with a painful thud. She was right, she was always right, and I felt like the lowest scum beneath my feet. "Just need to be normal," I mumbled, knowing the battle might as well be lost. "You're asking me to spend the rest of my life hiding the most important thing in the world to me...."

"You can hide it and be happy or you can deny it and be miserable," she returned, voice softening a little. Comforting, just when I needed it. "Come on, Ben. When have I ever steered you wrong? Please."

I gave a soft sigh, wrapping my arms around her. "Just let me get my stuff and we'll go home. I'm sorry, love."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to," she returned, but gave my face a reassuring lick. "Lets go home, Ben."

Back inside, I stuffed my books back into my booksack, leaving enough money on the table to cover the pie and coffee and whatever dinner Diana wanted. "I have to go, I'm really sorry. I had something come up. Grab yourself something to eat."

She gave a little disappointed pout. "All right. Here, let me give you my phone number, we can try it again sometime - "

I shook my head, slinging my bag over my shoulder as Sasha gave another warning growl at the pigeon as he hopped across the table. "Trust me, I'm an asshole, you're better off not. Take care."

I left before she could say anything else, hurrying back home with Sasha walking close enough beside me that I could brush her fur with my hand as we walked. I could see the light on in our apartment building, and the thought of seeing Larry made my stomach lurch sickeningly. "It's all right," Sasha murmured, nuzzling my hand as I hit the button for the elevator. "You left. You did the right thing."

"I still feel like shit," I mumbled, but ran my hand over her head.

Larry was sitting at the small kitchen table when I got in, and he looked up with a smile. "There you are. Was beginning to worry that you'd gotten kidnapped by Russians."

I stared at him for a moment. "Russians?"

He grinned and shrugged. "Sorry, my mum always used to say that if I was naughty I'd get taken away by Russian spies. And that they hid cameras all over our house."

I stared at him as I hung up my coat. "... so your mother turned you into an exhibitionist."

"I guess so." Larry laughed, pushing back from the table and moving to meet me in the middle of the kitchen, slipping a hand into mine. "How was your afternoon? Sorry to be so late home."

His expression was so open and adoring and it just made me feel worse. I tightened my grip on his hand, looking away. "Larry... I need to talk to you."

I could feel him immediately grow very tense and very still, his voice soft and a little strained. "Yeah?"

I couldn't meet his gaze, and when Sasha slipped around me to go to Fionn the other daemon skittered back under the table. That hurt more. I swallowed hard. "I'm an asshole."

Larry's fingers were cool in my grasp. "What makes you say that?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "Tried to pick up a girl."

"...oh." Larry let out a long breath, then pulled his hand from mine, moving back towards the table. "Hope you didn't hold back on my account. I don't care what you do, Ben." His voice was tight through the words, skin flushed, and the obvious hurt hit me like a blow, agony rippling through me.

"Larry, that's not what I meant - "

"Why not?" He was gathering together the papers he'd been studying from with trembling fingers. "It's not like we're dating, you can do whatever you want."

I drew a sharp breath, anger mixing with hurt at his words. "Look, I didn't say I went with her. I just - I just needed to know...." My reasons sounded stupid and trite even to my own ears. "Larry, please...."

He rounded the island in the kitchen, leaving his books on the counter, headed to his room with Fionn at his heels. "I don't need to know. Why the hell are you even telling me this? I don't care, Ben. Go do whatever you want."

"Larry - " I cut him off in front of his bedroom door, grabbing hold of his wrist to keep him in place. "Do you really not care?"

He stopped, trembling, and when he raised his eyes to mine they were suspiciously bright. "Ben... please just let me save face. Don't push me. I can't...."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, and Larry closed his eyes tight, turning his face away.

"Ben, please...."

"I'm sorry," I repeated again, pulling him into my arms and pressing my face to his hair. "I'm so sorry, Lar. Didn't want to hurt you. Never wanted to hurt you."

"I can't do this," he gasped back, despite returning my embrace, trembling arms wrapped tight around my waist. "I told myself that I wouldn't care when you found someone else, that it wouldn't matter, that I...."

"I couldn't go through with it," I murmured, holding him tighter, slipping one hand up into his hair. "I was stupid. Sasha bit me. I was an asshole, Lar...."

"... Sasha bit you?"

At our feet, Fionn moved from where she'd pressed up against the back of Larry's legs, stretching her muzzle out to Sasha tentatively before accepting my daemons nuzzle and curling into her. At least one of us was out of the dog house. I felt her nudge my foot with a paw. "Tell him, Ben."

"Tell me what now?" Larry pulled back to look at me helplessly, ginger eyelashes matted together with unshed tears. A soft, pained moan escaped my throat before I could stop it, and I reached up to cup his cheek with one hand, brushing away a spot of damp at the corner of his eye with my thumb.

For a moment I couldn't speak. I knew I had to, but the gravity of my admission was frightening. I couldn't go back from this. But then again, I couldn't take back what I felt regardless. Sasha was right... I could deny this and be miserable or embrace it and find happiness despite whatever trouble it would bring. I swallowed hard. "I couldn't go through with it because I'm in love with you."

Larry's eyes fell closed, and he leaned in to press his forehead to mine, letting out a shuddering breath. His fingers tangled tight in the back of my t-shirt. "Don't say that if you don't mean it."

"I do mean it." I drew him closer, pressing my lips to his cheeks, his eyelids, tasting salt and feeling him shudder against me. "I love you. God help me, I'm so in love with you, Larry."

Larry made a little choked noise that sounded a little like a sob as he caught my mouth with his own, kisses trembling and needy, and it made me far more aroused than it should have. "Prove it," he whispered. "Show me."

"Prove it?" My mind went wild at the thought of what he might mean. "I...."

"Show me," he murmured again, kissing me again with a little yearning moan. "Make love to me, Ben. I need it. Please."

I drew a sharp breath against his mouth. "Sex?" We'd never talked about it, but god, had I ever thought about it. "I don't deserve that."

Larry gave a breathless chuckle. "Deserve? I'm not some virgin girl." He drew back to catch and hold my gaze, something dark and intent and a little wild in his eyes. "I need to feel you inside me. If you're in love with me then show me you can fuck me, Ben."

"Oh fuck." I surged up against him at his words, reacting without hardly thinking, and Larry gave a little oomph as his back connected with the door to his bedroom. I claimed his mouth with a groan, kissing and sucking at his lips, crushing my lips to his hard as I licked into his mouth. Larry returned the groan, low and throaty, and his hands slipped down to clench at my ass, something that made me even harder than his words. In moments I was rocking up against him, grinding my cock against his hip and feeling him press against me just as hard through his jeans. "Yes," I breathed, hands going to the buttons of his shirt and starting to tug them undone. "God yes, Larry, anything you want. Just show me what you want. Oh god...."

"Bed," he murmured, freeing a hand to turn the doorknob, stumbling back inside as it opened and pulling me with him. We made short work of our clothes, well used by now to undressing each other, and I soon had him stretched out naked under me in bed, looking up at me as he caught his breath, lips parted and flushed from our kisses.

I knelt half over him, taking in a moment to let myself drink in the lean lines of his body, his pale skin spattered with freckles and a dusting of red gold hair on his chest. I stroked a hand over his jaw and down his throat, tracing the lines of his chest and down his stomach. I ran my fingertips through the ginger curls at the base of his cock before smoothing my thumb up the underside, still finding it more arousing than I ever thought possible to touch him, to draw that little trembling whimper of pleasure from his mouth. "Meant it when I said that you're beautiful," I murmured, continuing to stroke him slowly and leaning down to press a kiss to his stomach, mouthing down slowly to nuzzle the base of his cock.

"Ben...." Larry's voice broke on my name, and I stroked my hand over his hip soothingly, giving an experimental lick up the length of his shaft.

"Shh, love..." I murmured, still sucking at his skin, giving little experimental flicks of my tongue and breathing in deep of his arousal. I'd thought about this as well, but with no small amount of nervousness. Larry was amazingly talented with his mouth, but he always seemed to distract me before I could return the favor, and I worried about not being good enough. The choked groan he gave as I sucked the head of his cock into my mouth was more than encouraging, however, his hips bucking up a little, trembling.

"Oh fuck, Ben...." Larry's fingers stroked restlessly over my shoulders, clenching at my skin as I cupped his balls with one hand. I squeezed gently as I swirled my tongue around the head of his cock, trying to trace all the ridges and veins, trying to remember what felt so good on me. His arousal was musky and a little bitter, but it didn't matter, not with him shivering under me, gasping for more.

I stroked back between his thighs, teasing the soft skin behind his balls before finally running a finger down the crease of his ass and over the tight pucker of flesh, feeling him tense and shudder as I rubbed over him gently. "So tight," I murmured as I nuzzled his cock, a little worried as to how the hell we were going to manage this.

Larry let go of my shoulders, twisting to pull open the drawer of his bedside table, then pressed a bottle of lube into my hand with a small purple silicone dildo that was only a little thicker than my thumb. "Just help me relax," he murmured nervously, and it occurred to me that a lot of his tension had to do with emotion, uncertainty. I nodded, pressing a warm, lingering kiss to the head of his cock before moving up to stretch out along his side, catching his mouth and urging one thigh up so that I could stroke along the crease of his ass. Larry gave a low moan and relaxed a little more against me, returning my kisses yearningly, one hand tangling into my hair. When I slicked my fingers with lube to stroke them over his ass he pressed up against me with a soft whimper, nipping at my bottom lip. "More," he whimpered, breathless. "Please... need to feel you, Ben...."

I slicked the toy with lube before pressing it into him carefully in slow rocks, watching his eyes clench shut at the penetration, breath coming faster. I bit my lip, still rocking the toy in him gently. "You sure about this, love?

"Mmm. It's just - just been a while.... oh god, there. More." I could feel the tremor of pleasure run through his body, and I continued to work the toy in little thrusts just as I had before, trying to angle it to make him whimper again. "Christ, Ben... more, please...."

I released the toy to slick my fingers instead, then eased it away, drawing a sharp hiss at how tight and hot he was around my fingers as I worked them inside him, clenching and shuddering around me. Larry's fingers clenched almost painfully in my hair, his breath coming in sharp gasps against my mouth as I tried to crook my fingers like the toy had been, rubbing up against something firm and warm inside him to pull the same whimpering cries from his lips. It was surprisingly intoxicating to make him come so undone, and I had to focus to keep from grinding against his hip as I continued to finger him. "God you're sexy. You're so sexy, love."

Larry swallowed audibly, visibly trying to regain control, something I suddenly realized I opposed very much. I twisted my fingers inside him to make him cry out again in pleasure, shuddering and breathless, then carefully worked in another finger, slowly fucking him open. Dropping warm kisses along his jaw, I spoke, keeping my voice low and husky. "This what you wanted, baby? To show me how good it feels to have my fingers up your ass? To just give up control and just feel?"

He managed a breathless nod, reaching out to fumble in his drawer for a condom. "And your cock. Please, Ben. Just like this. Just kneel up against me...." he gave a soft whimper as I eased my fingers from him, tearing the condom open with his teeth and reaching between us to roll it on me, stroking more lube up the length of my erection. He pulled his knees up to my chest as I shifted to kneel between them, looking up at me with a mix of desire and vulnerability that made me want nothing more than to hold him to me and never let go.

"Shh," I murmured, leaning down to kiss him, warm and lingering, trying to reassure him as I pressed the head of my cock against him, almost teasing him, easing inside him with slow, gentle rocks of my hips. Larry's fingers clenched at my shoulders, holding me to his kisses as he whimpered against my mouth, heels pressing into the small of my back.

"Oh christ, yes - !" Larry's gasp of pleasure only encouraged me, and I rocked deeper into him with a harder thrust, crying out against his mouth. I understood immediately why he'd needed this, why our intimacy up until this point just wasn't enough. The feel of his body hot and shuddering around my cock was more intense than I'd ever anticipated, so much more than being with a girl, and despite my initial plans to take things slow it wasn't long before I was thrusting up into him desperately, gasping his name against his mouth as he cried out pleasure with each thrust. "Oh god, Ben...! So good, so thick... god, harder!"

"Larry - !" I sounded just as wrecked as he did, bucking harder into him, dropping breathless, shuddering kisses to his mouth as we moved together. "So perfect," I whispered, letting my head fall to the pillow beside him as pleasure built, gasping against his hair. "Oh god. Love you. Love you so...!"

Larry's fingers bit into my back with a choked cry of pleasure as he bucked up against me, clenching tight around my cock as he shuddered with orgasm, coming warm and slick between us. The surge of elation that it sent through me mixed with the hot bliss of sensation was more than I could take, and I thrust shallowly as climax sparked hot and overwhelming through my body, leaving me completely overwhelmed by how good it was to be so very close to him.

"Love you," he whispered between gasps, arms tight around my shoulders and face pressed to my hair. "Love you, Ben. So much. Oh god...."

"Shh," I murmured, pulling back enough to press gentle kisses to his mouth. "I'm here. Not going to leave you, I promise. Love you so much."

"Thank you," he murmured, slowly calming, giving a soft little moan of loss as he eased his legs from around me and I pulled away. There was a garbage can on the other side of the bed, and I knotted off the condom and tossed it before curling up against him again, not caring that we were both sweat-streaked and sticky. Just needed to be close to him. For a long moment we were both silent, just trading kisses and gentle touch, and as much as I felt a little overwhelmed by everything that had happened it was such a relief at the same time. So good to be with him, to get everything off my chest.

"Should have done this months ago," I murmured finally, and Larry chuckled softly.

"Didn't know each other months ago."

"Then I should have found you earlier and done this months ago." It made him smile, and I kissed him with a soft, happy hum, enjoying the warmth and ease of being close to him. "Lar... I'm going to meet up with Angie for lunch tomorrow," I told him, nuzzling his cheek. "I'd like you to come with me and meet her. Um... if you want."

"Are you sure?" Larry looked completely floored by the invitation. "She's your sister...."

"I know," I replied, giving him a soft smile. "That's why I want you to meet her. Love, I don't.... I can't just spend the rest of my life hiding something that's so important to me. Work's gonna be bad enough. I know I don't have much of a family left, but I want you to be part of that."

Larry managed a little nod, swallowing hard before giving me a trembling smile. "I'd like that. I'd like that very much."

"Good," I replied, returning his smile before pressing a warm kiss to his lips. I could feel Sasha's warm approval, and reached a hand off the side of the bed blindly towards her, freezing at the touch of the daemon that pushed up against my fingers.

There was a split second in which my mind registered the silken fur of an Irish Setter, and then the intimacy of the touch rushed through me. I gave a little choked sound and held on tight to Larry, closing my eyes as I ran my fingers over silken fur and long ears, Fionn's nose soft and wet as she twisted to nuzzle the inside of my wrist like Sasha so often did. It was the same familiarity I felt every time I watched her snuggle up with Sasha, the same sense of completion I felt when I was with Larry, but a hundred, thousand times stronger. It was completely overwhelming, and for a long moment all I could do was cling to him, lips pressed to his jaw as I smoothed my hand over Fionn's fur again and again.

When I finally managed to draw back to look at him Larry gave me a tentative, trembling smile. I returned it widely, kissing him warmly again and again. "Love you. Thank you. God, I love you."

"Me too." Sasha half leaped up onto the bed, tail wagging as she leaned in to cover Larry's face with happy nuzzles and licks. It brought such a warm feeling of joy that all I could do was cling to him and laugh softly, holding him close as he echoed my breathless, happy laughter, freeing a hand to stroke over Sasha's head and rub behind her ears.

Maybe all it took to regain control over my life was the willingness to give it up completely, I found myself thinking, and smiled.

~~~


	6. Epilogue

**Ben Carson**

 

"I have a favor to ask you."

It had been a couple of months since Angie's time in New York had lined up with our time off enough for us to have a proper dinner together. My little sister and her russet squirrel daemon, Kendi, had somehow proved the perfect combination for girl next door parts in romantic comedy movies, and Angie had done quite well for herself in the movie business over the past five years. What I hadn't expected was what had happened two years ago when Angie had met our chief medical examiner at a CSU function, came out of the closet and married the woman six months later.

Then again, I knew well what it could be like to fall head over heels in love.

I gave Angie a warm smile. "Of course, sweetie. Anything I can do to help you out."

Angie took a deep breath, twisting her wedding band around her finger. "Well... since I just signed on for that new sitcom for three years here in New York and I'll be in town pretty exclusively... Amy and I decided that we want kids."

Behind me, Larry dropped a plate in the sink, and Sasha and Fionn, who had been lounging together on the floor rug, sat bolt upright in unison. I gave a little cough. "All right... and you want me to...."

"Be the father?" She replied with a hopeful little smile. "Amy's got connections at a really good fertility clinic, so we'd really just need you for one meeting. I just figured... since you're my brother then they'd look like both Amy and me, so...."

I gave a slow nod, a little overwhelmed by the proposition. I'd wanted kids very badly once, a long time ago before I'd met Larry, but with both of us in law enforcement it just wasn't a good idea at all. "Amy's the one actually having the baby, then. You don't want one yourself, Ange?"

She smiled and shrugged. "Maybe later. I had to sign off on not getting pregnant during the sitcom, the schedule's too tight for a long mat leave and it's too difficult to hide the bump. So for now I'll be mommy number two." She bit her lip, reaching across the table to take one of my hands. "Neither of us want an anonymous donor, Ben. I want my kids to know their father, I want that to be an influence in their lives. Amy knows you both, you work well together. There's no one I trust more to father my children than you and Larry."

I glanced back to where my partner leaned back against the sink, drying his wet hands on a dishtowel. He gave me a warm smile. "I think you'd make an amazing father, Ben," he said softly, and I felt an unexpected warmth shiver down my spine.

I squeezed Amy's hand. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure we can figure something out."

"Thank you!" She moved into the seat beside me to throw her arms around my neck, squeezing tight and planting a big kiss on my cheek. "You're my favorite big brother ever."

"I'm your only brother," I replied with a laugh, returning the kiss, chuckling as Kendi ran down Angie's leg to cuddle up to Sasha affectionately.

Amy glanced up at Larry next. "And you'll do the same thing for me when I'm off contract, Larry?"

Larry gave a little choked sound, but Fionn chuckled softly. "Of course we will, Angela. Don't worry about a thing."

~~~~


End file.
